60 hours in 58 actual gameplay

Obligatory I’m not an asshole disclaimer. You can skip down if you’ve read it.

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It’s fantastic. I’m also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I’m on media blackout while I play this, so I’m only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking ‘have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?’ My guess is nope.

Part 7 is here.

(Note that these reviews aren’t edited. They’re just my off the cuff writing. I don’t have the time, energy or heart to edit them properly.)

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and all other Dragon Age media. (I’m a lore fiend.)

Critical review CW strong language.

Well. If I’m right about who the Gloom Howler is, and I’m almost certain after the Cauldron… I really fucking question the reading comprehension of whoever wrote that arc.

She loathed doing what she was ordered to doto the griffins. She saved the last clutch of eggs, left secret clues on where to find the nest kept in stasis, and answered her calling early so no one could get the information out of her. All in the hope that future generations would be worthy of griffins again. And now she’s doing the exact opposite? Seriously?

I mean, I’m aware that the supplementary material isn’t something everyone is gonna read, but as far as I know the printed materials are considered canon. Which means they’ve taken a sad, epic story and completely reversed it in a retcon I’m not sure I can forgive them for.

I’ve marinated myself in the Lore of this world. That’s an incredible disservice to her sacrifices to save the last remaining griffins. It’s a disservice to the writer of Last Flight, too. That’s not even touching on the ‘of course when you shove a blade into the bones of a roughly 400 year dead arch demon… it will come out bloody?’ Excuse me now? Someone has watched too much jurassic park, because that would be utterly impossible.

Once again, I’m asking myself What. The. Actual. Fuck. were the devs and writers thinking?

Surely they know at least some of us have read the printed stuff?

Did they think we’d have forgotten? Unfortunately for these retconning incompetents, (I am so, so sick of retconning in general, and fed the fuck up with it in this game) autistic and AuDHD folks like me tend to have razor keen memories about our special interests. Whoopsies.

Last Flight wasn’t my fav of the books, but it was beautifully written and heartbreaking with a gleaming golden string of hope.

And this is the end of that story? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I can honestly think of only one way they could make that make sense. And my trust in Bioware writers now lives below sewer level, so I’m not hopeful they’ll go that way.

It’s possible that I’m wrong, but understanding and critiquing media is my actual job when I’m not recovering from a pulmonary embolism. And yes, absolutely, I could’ve written far, far better material.

How. Can someone please tell me HOW a company that has something as successful as DAI under their belt… makes… this? I swear this game (DAV) is like some of the worst AI written shite I saw in ESO back when I played that years ago.

I guess I should say machine written. Whatever. I’ve heard ESO was doing that a long while ago. And the blah storylines and boring assed questlines proved it.

This game reminds me of that. Though, I think they were probably written by actual humans… I really have to question where exactly they scraped up the writers for them.

The street? A back alley? A mud pit? Did they give apes access to a keyboard and use whatever claptrap they came up with? (Yes. They did. Humans are apes.)

It’s common enough in Hollyweird that writers working on a particular IP (intellectual property… IE Dragon Age or Witcher etc.) often utterly loathe the source material. I fail to understand why or how that would be okay, because we can fucking tell, you know? You can tell when a writer loves their work, and when they don’t. And we wonder why so many things in hollyweird fail.

Is that what happened to DAV?

They had a fucking blueprint for fuck’s sake! DAI was RIGHT THERE. It won GOTY if I recall correctly. No one wanted a game exactly like DAI but dear fucking gods something… not this… would’ve been far preferable. If they’d used DAI as a sort of map? A guideline or outline? DAV might’ve been a good game. And the sad part is that it actually could have been. With just a little more care, less streamlining to mediocrity, better editing and writing? This could’ve been another win for Bioware. As is, if it wins anything I’ll be suspicious of bribery.

It’s just so… meh. Where it’s not outright bad.

And even though I’m under media blackout so I can write a truly unbiased review… it wouldn’t surprise me if some fans were going gaga over this travesty of a game. Just because it has Dragon Age in the title.

It sucks when you want desperately to love something. But you just can’t because you can see the flaws. And the flaws far, far outweigh the good parts.

And none of those good parts are even unique. They’re just lifted from other games.

And I got the load up with no CC glitch again. Lost about an hour of playtime figuring out when it happened and which save to reload. I’d really hoped the damned hour long update would’ve taken care of that.

What a sad mess this game is.

Though on the positive, I do love the new takedown mechanic. And it’s oddly satisfying to clear blight. I like tracking things. IRL too. I grew up in a subsistence hunting family. Though, I always just used a camera. I know how to track stuff, so that’s fun. I like the ballista and zip lines. There are good parts of the game… but they aren’t the parts that really matter.

I had to turn Taash down for Romance because it happened way too fast. I barely felt like I knew them, and my demi ass needs more than what we got before committing to a relationship.

It’s warming up with Lucanis, Emmrich, and Davrin. I’m not decided yet. And this is where a polyam mod would be great. There’s no reason polyam shouldn’t have been included in the game. It could’ve been just a few characters okay with it like BG3, but the rep and possibilities would at least be there.

I’m incredibly fed the fuck up with the narrative that turns Solas into an awful person. They’re trying so fucking hard to paint him that way. They’re hammering it home so hard I really can’t recommend (at this point) that Sollavellans play it. It’s possible that will change, but… sigh. They’ve even got my Rook saying negative shit about him. Shouldn’t that be a choice that I get to make about my Rook? How they feel about Solas?

And if I could kick the incredibly unintelligent and massively fucking annoying Lace Harding off a cliff, I absolutely would. Hard. And laugh while I did it.

Everyone blames Solas. Why is everyone so far up Mythal’s asshole that they’re forgetting it was always her requiring her bound servant IE enslaved spirit who never even wanted a body (forgetting that part?) Solas to do what she said. That he tried over and over again to dissuade her?

Oh, but no, it’s all Solas’s fault. And the narrative is so fucking heavy handed on that that it’s honestly nauseating me a little.

You know, as a friend said, they could’ve hired a bunch of Ao3 fic writers and paid them in pizza or waffles and come out with better story lines than this.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Section 9 here.