I’m not an asshole disclaimer (same as the first one, if you read that, you can just skip down.)

Something came to my attention. I need to make it crystal clear that I utterly love the diversity in DAV. It’s fantastic. I’m also a heavily left leaning, non-binary, queer as fuck reviewer, editor, and author.

I’m on media blackout while I play this, so I’m only getting second-hand info on how awful it is right now in the DA Fandom. Please be safe and take care of yourselves. Arguing with incels and white supremacists is completely pointless. They sea lion worse than an actual sea lion. Your mental health is important.

Though, every single time the anti-queer brigade comes out for a new DA game, I sit there thinking ‘have you bozos ever played any DA game, like, ever?’ My guess is nope.

Part one is here.

If you’d like to read it on Tumblr instead that’s here.

(Note that these reviews aren’t edited. They’re just my off the cuff writing. I don’t have the time, energy or heart to edit them properly.)

(Note that these reviews aren’t edited. They’re just my off the cuff writing. I don’t have the time, energy or heart to edit them properly.)

9 hours in, 7 hours playtime.

Spoilers for Dragon Age Veilguard and all other Dragon Age materials (I’m a lore fiend.)

Negative review

While I’m incredibly grateful that I can play this game, because I really hope the story actually starts soon, (yes, I said it, the pacing on this is terrible, and I’m both an editor and a writer, I have a clue). I hate to say… I am soooo glad I didn’t buy it. Or I’d be demanding a refund. I didn’t actually look at the price tag, but it must’ve been around $90 Canadian. Given our cost of living crisis, that’s obscene, but whatever. Games are expensive.

It’s just not worth that much in its current state. Sure. Games on release often have bugs. I kinda hate spending money to be an unpaid beta tester. BG3 had nowhere near as many.

My computer comes down right around the middle of the minimum and recommended specs. DA4 doesn’t even make it get hot like BG3 makes it. So I’m really thinking glitchy game vs computer issues. Considering I’m not the only one it’s happening to… welp. (I looked the glitch up, it’s pretty common.)

5 out of 10 loads, my character glitches back to the stock elf body. And if I continue playing, it corrupts my saves and they won’t load. It has also happened mid-battle, too. So I have to figure out which save to go back to before the glitch bit. Which, without pics in the save files is fun /s.

‘Balanced’ play isn’t. I play on tactician/hard in most games. I’m on balanced, and keep fucking dying. TBH I’m not extremely awesome with the controls and moves yet, but I’m not bad either. I honestly just think the bad guys are too overpowered (way too fast, hit too hard, and it takes too long to break their armour) for beginning levels. And yes, I have my Rook in the best armour I currently have. Maybe if I could carry more than 3 potions, it wouldn’t matter as much, but IDEK man.

And you know what isn’t actually any fun in games? Dying a lot. Also? Having to drop my difficulty level for regular bad guys less than ten hours into the game. It’s still teaching me moves ffs, so is sorta the tutorial. I’m not a ‘get gud’ type. I think that’s ridiculous. Gaming is supposed to be fun. If it makes it more fun to drop the level for a boss fight or whatever, more power to you. But I usually don’t have to until end-game material. If I have to at all. It’s honestly pretty rare. Load time is ridiculous, so every time an over-powered not-a-fucking-darkspawn slams my rogue (which I swear shouldn’t be possible, I know how to fight with rogues, they’re my first and favourite class), I get creamed because I’m bloody stuck in a place I shouldn’t get stuck in.

I know they had testing on this. Wasn’t that why the date was pushed back? My memory isn’t great since COVID but I think I might’ve seen that somewhere.

Solavellans will likely be disappointed in the first seven hours. You see Solas twice. He may as well not even be in the game. You know? I never once imagined they’d sideline such a plot important character?

And I really hate to say this, but I’m just bored. I wasn’t itching to play it like I usually am with good games. (If a game catches me up, it’s about the only thing I want to do.) I still loaded it up tonight, didn’t have anything better to do. (Because I’d probably have done that instead.) I’m mostly playing so I know what happens in the story myself. And I was hoping we’d get some answers to all this lore that lives in my head, rent free. So, whatever, I’m still hoping it will catch me up. I’ll keep playing in hopes we actually get something resembling a story at some point soon.

And the number of editorial errors is ridiculous. Both developmental and copy.

‘Cause bodies can’t decompose in the Anderfels? Because nothing external lives there? Granted, I have specialized knowledge there (former forensic anthropologist) but, that isn’t remotely how decomp works.

Does your 3 week old raw hamburger not rot because it was in a cold, dark place without any external decomposers? (My 17 year old knew the correct answer to that, so did my 12 year old.)

The primary forms of humanoid/mammalian decomposition come from inside us. Bugs don’t even start showing up for a bit. Why do you think bodies bloat? Our gut bacteria going wild. Why do you think bodies are routinely embalmed? No bugs (usually) in a funeral home or morgue either.

And y’know? I actually outright told Epler on Twitter (before it went to complete hell) that he needed a better editor or 4 after playing DAI. And DAV already has more editorial issues than I noticed in the whole first half of DAI. Way to prove my point.

I’m an exacting editor. I’m pretty good at it. And I don’t expect perfection in anything. Perfectionism is a trauma response, after all. But so many errors so soon? Really?

I’m not even getting into the story issues. Because I’m still hoping we actually, y’know, get to a story? And if I’m really lucky? That story will cover some of the glaring errors.

But so far? I’m not impressed. I’ve never, since I started playing DA games, been fucking bored.

Part three is here.