I have massive trust issues. I was raised in an uber-christian family. I’m autistic and queer, so you can imagine how well that part of my life went.

Throw in abuse, being used and laughed at for being gullible about it and a tempering in the fires of sales to the high power US Gov’t and you get someone like me.

Who doesn’t trust ANYONE. Except maybe my kids, and then only so long as I have my eyes on them.

I had four people I sort of thought of as friends unfollow me on twitter today. It isn’t the first time there’s been a mass-exodus and I’ve been subtweeted all day. OFor pointing out that authors are public figures and need to remember that they’re running a business.

Oops?

I’m not the only one who has noticed that and mentioned it.

I figured one would UF, I’ve had the feeling they were looking for a reason to ‘politely’ do so for a while now. The other three surprised me.

Of course, it hurts.

But like I said, it’s not even close to the first time something I have said or done by being who I am, autistic, logically minded and honest… well, it’s not the first time it’s cost me something I’d rather not have lost.

But I guess I was the only one dumb enough to think we were friends.

Oh well.

Plaster on yet another scar. I’m good at carrying those.

I’m eying a few others to see if they’ll jump ship. My being me… hasn’t ever changed. I’ve always been… me.

So I don’t know why it seems to take people so long to figure out they hate me? That they really AREN’T that open minded at all.

Maybe they were all just waiting for an excuse to UF me. Who the fuck knows. I’ll never understand the way neurotypicals think, I just won’t.

I really don’t know why I bother trying, it hurts me every, damned, time.