So, yeah… I tweeted about it here…

but I just don’t get what I did. I know we weren’t ‘friends’, not really. We don’t even live on the same continent.

But… they sent me their book to review (lots of people do, I review and blog… so I get requests a lot) and I’m actually reading the book now (I have 5 I’m reading… I read insanely fast) and… we’ve been interacting, on an almost daily basis for a few months now.

So what did I do, within the past 7 days, that made you drop me (unfollow) from twitter?

I know I’m probably weird that these things bother me so much. Think of it like a puzzle piece (I cringe at using that analogy, but it’s fitting) I do not understand social interaction in the gut-deep way most neurotypical people do. I never have.

I had to have someone tell me how to make appropriate eye contact and I had to learn how to do it by habit. Even as a grown woman, I’m still incredibly uncomfy with meeting anyone’s eyes.

I had to learn through trial and error when my listeners are about to turn into glassy-eyed dead fish impersonators because I’m boring them to death with the level of knowledge on any one of a number of topics running around in my head.

Social interaction, to me, is this huge tapestry of tiny stitches, each successful interaction I have is a smoothly placed satin-stitch, each failed one is a badly knotted tangle of UGH.

I don’t like the knotted ones, so I try to figure out how not to do that (whatever the ‘that’ is) again.

I’ve gotten better at it over the years, and yes, on twitter it’s very easy to assume a lot about what another is thinking/feeling/saying. It’s a limited platform.

For the average unfollow I don’t worry about it (odds on that I won’t even notice) and half of the people I don’t recognize their names. I don’t auto-follow back, it’s all about interaction for me. If I’m interested in getting to ‘know’ you, I’ll follow, or I’ll follow someone who is interacting with me… it’s pretty simple (in my head anyway).

It’s sort of the ebb and flow of the tide of twitter, so to speak. I get a lot of follows/unfollows each week. Most don’t bother me.

I admit, this week I was a little surprised at how quickly the numbers dropped after I critiqued the use of pain in CARVE THE MARK. I ‘lost’ something like 30+ followers on the day I dared to critique the author’s interview and the blurbs I saw other people post from the book itself.

I guess I’m not allowed to critique a big name author?

Look. I don’t care who you are or how big your ego is. If I see you doing something harmful, I’m going to call you on it. I hope to hell someone calls me on it if *I* do something harmful.

Do I like being called out? Hell no, it sucks (especially for an aspie) but I’d MUCH rather get a public call out and harsh education lesson than I would EVER hurt someone else unintentionally.

Yet… when that particular name popped up as an unfollow, it hurt. I just don’t get what I did, this time. So that knotted stitch will remain knotted, and I won’t learn how to not do whatever knotted it in the first place.

Which means I’ll do it again, all unwittingly, and unless/until someone actually tells me what I’ve done… I’ll never know.

Let me tell you, that not knowing? It’s absolute hell for an aspie, or maybe just this aspie?

Logic is holy to me, and people are innately illogical. I guess that’s my only take away. Fuck it, it’s three am here and I’m going to go to bed instead of reading this person’s book.