Survivor’s guilt

I rather have more than my share of it.

Definition of Survivor Guilt

So I recognize it, when it shows up.

I have it now, at the end of the week in which the GOP run House laughed, and had beer delivered to the Whitehouse to celebrate their vote to strip over 24 million people from the country of my birth of basic health care.

Democrats celebrated too, because their party received massive donations in the wake of the vote.

People celebrating, for whatever reason, because people will die from this action. I was going to link some articles and think pieces on that, but honestly? Click over to twitter and look at this hashtag


People can tell it better than I can.

I’m afraid to go see if the vote passed the Senate. I’m… honestly afraid to go look. I hope it didn’t, but it’s going to make me feel even worse if it did.

See… for completely unrelated reasons, our blended international family moved to the other nation we can call home about 5 years ago (closer to 6 now) and even though I’m American… even though *I’d* be one of the ‘pre-existing conditions’ folks who would lose their health care…

I have health care. (Or I will soon, immigration stuff being what it is.)

So. Yeah.

I feel guilty as hell about that. We didn’t move to Canada for the health care (it honestly isn’t perfect, there are HUGE issues with it). But it exists, and there isn’t to my knowledge a question of whether it should or not. It’s sort of viewed as an ‘well, of COURSE healthcare is important!’ situation.

There isn’t an entire party of politicians AND THE PEOPLE WHO ELECTED THEM INTO POWER (’cause you voted them in? You caused this, don’t like that? Do something about it) trying to get rid of it.

For why?

I don’t know, I don’t understand why getting rid of healthcare is a good idea to ANYONE.

Yes, I know it’s not everyone.

I’m in such an odd place emotionally about my birth country. I have never, ever, been more ashamed of my government (considering I’m mixed race, trust me, I’ve been ashamed). I’ve also never been more proud of so many Americans who fight, who resist, who march, and call their reps, and who continually pull their weights in a very difficult fight.

I’ve rarely had more disgust than when I hear people saying they vote their conscious… really?


A lot of the people who say that are Christian. Is this what you thought would happen? (I’ve spoken to several people who voted for Frump out of their beliefs… I have issues with that, emotion needs to be removed from voting, faith has NO place in government, but I digress.) So, I’d ask those who say that now.

Would your savior have been happy at all the people who are going to die if that act passes the Senate (if it hasn’t already).

Or would your Jesus be as appalled as I am?

Next I’d ask, what are you doing about it?

I don’t know… I’ve rambled more than I intended with this. Speaks to the state of my mind and emotions about it all.

I just don’t get it.